To Be or not to Be? (That is the question)

I don't know about you, but after I say or do something wrong, inevitably guilt always follows. Something always follows everything. Tired always follows sick, Monday always follows Sunday, Murphy and his stupid Law, always follow me. :)


My favorite lesson of all is tough consequences always follow a bad choice. (It's only my favorite when it isn't happening to me.)


The good news is that the calm follows the storm and Blessings always follow tragedy.




Before I go any further, let me define tragedy. Webster says this: Tragedy is a lamentable, dreadful, or fatal event of affair; calamity; disaster. Now, in teenager terms it could be defined as a friend usually the opposite sex, failing to notice your very existence or being invited to a party and having nothing to wear. :) However you define it, tragedy is coming for you. In fact, in God's very word there are dozens of heart wrenching tragedies that put Shakespeare to shame. The word longsuffering appears in the Bible 7 times. (Regular length suffering is enough for me.)


Tragedy does not discriminate and chances are, when your reading this blog you will already have a dozen tragedies that you have already overcome, (with or without your dignity still intact) running through your head.


Christ witnessed great tragedies way before He was put to death for me, so why would I ever think that my life should be easy or tragedy-less. After all His purpose was to show me the way. The way that He lived and died is honorable but definitely not the life you and I are always willing to live out. That ultimately brings me to broach the subject of friendship. This is a topic I take very seriously and I never enter into one lightly or without taking full responsibility for my behavior while in one. (If you're lucky enough to really know me, your probably wishing you didn't.)


I see this often in women I encounter - someone is always being hurt over a friend's actions or words. When life gets tough we tend to bail on our friends. Some of us can't really handle a tragedy in a friend's life if we are in the middle of our own. Then their is the classic friend that can call on you as their rock but can not be a rock for you. That leaves women frusterated and vulnerable, usually resulting in a person with few friends and the feeling of not fitting in. Man is that a lonely feeling. I have felt that way so many times in my life and still struggle through putting myself out there to allow people to let me down.


As tragic as friendship can sometimes be, what follows for me is the peace that I get when God gently reminds me that though people will fail me, Christ will not. WOW, someone who actually loves me in spite of my imperfections?


All of us know people who are like chameleons - they change color depending on who they are with. We also know people who are so busy with their own life that they forget God called them to serve someone else. I know what these people look like because I have been one in the past and inevitably I will be one in the future because of my imperfections and sin nature. That however, is not my heart. I strive to be a good, no, a great friend, one who can be a rock in the midst of a tragedy, no matter what is going on in my own life.


God calls me on a regular basis to be a rock to so many people. Sometimes I fail miserably, other times I come through for my friends, offering the support they needed, but never on my own strength (that's all God). If it wasn't for the awesome people in my life who always pray for me and support me, I would never be of any worth to the ones who have needed me most. Imagine how much of a better mom, wife, and friend I am when I have friends that are not afraid to call me out on my mistakes and stand by me when I've officially lost my mind. The blessing of true 100% transparent friends, who have stuck by me while I have taken on the very face of the woman at the well, are priceless to me. You know who you are and I value you iron sharpening skills.


Together we can all be the friend that God is calling us to be. Imagine the freedom that comes from being able to seek a friend's advice without the worry they will judge you or label you or worse, tell someone else.


The need to belong, has led many into sin when their heart was not actually rebellious. A lot of my past sins were a result of the lack of accountability while I was being tempted and the fact that I was naive. Think about how a four-year old's fascination with a snake, coupled with childhood innocence, can prove deadly. So why do we look at people who sin and turn our backs on them when they appear to have made a bad choice? They are not necessarily bad, just hurting and struggling and more importantly in need of a friend. Lets be that safe place for each other where our friends can find genuine love and trust, where they can also seek God-given guidance. Care enough about your friends to pray for them and with them.


I seem to be a better friend when I remember that Satan is at work daily tyring to rip all of us of everything we hold dear. I remember my short-comings and failures not to put my self down, but to lift my friends in a non-judgmental way. Yes, it's true, I've broken every commandment, physically or mentally, so there is nothing anyone could say to me that would shock or surprise me. I challenge you to champion your friends. Use even the smallest victories in their lives as a platform to compliment them. It is better for your friends to "be real and transparent" with you, than with the un-Godly who will take advantage of them for their own gain.


For me, experience is the best teacher. I find when I bare my heart and show my failures, I can demonstrate better that there are consequences. (Obviously, you don't have to dredge up sins that are best left dead.)


The enemy is waiting to devour our families and rape us of every ounce of joy.


Ladies, lets put on our armour and be the friend God has called us to be. Lets go to battle with, not against, the unique women God has put in our lives. Lets nurture them while reminding them of God's promise to never abandoned us. Lets actually mimic Christ's love and passion He felt for others.


In acceptance lies peace. We are being unfaithful to God's word if we only shared stories with happy endings. Don't waste the hurt and great lessons learned out of embarrassment.


I encourage you to share with a transparency like never before.






Lord, make me the picture of Christ's love to every woman you put in my path. Give me the courage to be obedient to Your call. Amen