To Be or not to Be? (That is the question)

I don't know about you, but after I say or do something wrong, inevitably guilt always follows. Something always follows everything. Tired always follows sick, Monday always follows Sunday, Murphy and his stupid Law, always follow me. :)


My favorite lesson of all is tough consequences always follow a bad choice. (It's only my favorite when it isn't happening to me.)


The good news is that the calm follows the storm and Blessings always follow tragedy.




Before I go any further, let me define tragedy. Webster says this: Tragedy is a lamentable, dreadful, or fatal event of affair; calamity; disaster. Now, in teenager terms it could be defined as a friend usually the opposite sex, failing to notice your very existence or being invited to a party and having nothing to wear. :) However you define it, tragedy is coming for you. In fact, in God's very word there are dozens of heart wrenching tragedies that put Shakespeare to shame. The word longsuffering appears in the Bible 7 times. (Regular length suffering is enough for me.)


Tragedy does not discriminate and chances are, when your reading this blog you will already have a dozen tragedies that you have already overcome, (with or without your dignity still intact) running through your head.


Christ witnessed great tragedies way before He was put to death for me, so why would I ever think that my life should be easy or tragedy-less. After all His purpose was to show me the way. The way that He lived and died is honorable but definitely not the life you and I are always willing to live out. That ultimately brings me to broach the subject of friendship. This is a topic I take very seriously and I never enter into one lightly or without taking full responsibility for my behavior while in one. (If you're lucky enough to really know me, your probably wishing you didn't.)


I see this often in women I encounter - someone is always being hurt over a friend's actions or words. When life gets tough we tend to bail on our friends. Some of us can't really handle a tragedy in a friend's life if we are in the middle of our own. Then their is the classic friend that can call on you as their rock but can not be a rock for you. That leaves women frusterated and vulnerable, usually resulting in a person with few friends and the feeling of not fitting in. Man is that a lonely feeling. I have felt that way so many times in my life and still struggle through putting myself out there to allow people to let me down.


As tragic as friendship can sometimes be, what follows for me is the peace that I get when God gently reminds me that though people will fail me, Christ will not. WOW, someone who actually loves me in spite of my imperfections?


All of us know people who are like chameleons - they change color depending on who they are with. We also know people who are so busy with their own life that they forget God called them to serve someone else. I know what these people look like because I have been one in the past and inevitably I will be one in the future because of my imperfections and sin nature. That however, is not my heart. I strive to be a good, no, a great friend, one who can be a rock in the midst of a tragedy, no matter what is going on in my own life.


God calls me on a regular basis to be a rock to so many people. Sometimes I fail miserably, other times I come through for my friends, offering the support they needed, but never on my own strength (that's all God). If it wasn't for the awesome people in my life who always pray for me and support me, I would never be of any worth to the ones who have needed me most. Imagine how much of a better mom, wife, and friend I am when I have friends that are not afraid to call me out on my mistakes and stand by me when I've officially lost my mind. The blessing of true 100% transparent friends, who have stuck by me while I have taken on the very face of the woman at the well, are priceless to me. You know who you are and I value you iron sharpening skills.


Together we can all be the friend that God is calling us to be. Imagine the freedom that comes from being able to seek a friend's advice without the worry they will judge you or label you or worse, tell someone else.


The need to belong, has led many into sin when their heart was not actually rebellious. A lot of my past sins were a result of the lack of accountability while I was being tempted and the fact that I was naive. Think about how a four-year old's fascination with a snake, coupled with childhood innocence, can prove deadly. So why do we look at people who sin and turn our backs on them when they appear to have made a bad choice? They are not necessarily bad, just hurting and struggling and more importantly in need of a friend. Lets be that safe place for each other where our friends can find genuine love and trust, where they can also seek God-given guidance. Care enough about your friends to pray for them and with them.


I seem to be a better friend when I remember that Satan is at work daily tyring to rip all of us of everything we hold dear. I remember my short-comings and failures not to put my self down, but to lift my friends in a non-judgmental way. Yes, it's true, I've broken every commandment, physically or mentally, so there is nothing anyone could say to me that would shock or surprise me. I challenge you to champion your friends. Use even the smallest victories in their lives as a platform to compliment them. It is better for your friends to "be real and transparent" with you, than with the un-Godly who will take advantage of them for their own gain.


For me, experience is the best teacher. I find when I bare my heart and show my failures, I can demonstrate better that there are consequences. (Obviously, you don't have to dredge up sins that are best left dead.)


The enemy is waiting to devour our families and rape us of every ounce of joy.


Ladies, lets put on our armour and be the friend God has called us to be. Lets go to battle with, not against, the unique women God has put in our lives. Lets nurture them while reminding them of God's promise to never abandoned us. Lets actually mimic Christ's love and passion He felt for others.


In acceptance lies peace. We are being unfaithful to God's word if we only shared stories with happy endings. Don't waste the hurt and great lessons learned out of embarrassment.


I encourage you to share with a transparency like never before.






Lord, make me the picture of Christ's love to every woman you put in my path. Give me the courage to be obedient to Your call. Amen

No Pain, No Gain?

I used to think physical pain was a bad thing. I've definitely had my share of it - 4 labors, multiple surgeries, broken bones, and over 500 stitches. I've heard the saying, "No pain, no gain," and never really put much thought into it (it might actually be true). I don't know about you, but major pain stops me in my tracks. It makes everyday living a mountain to climb and I have found pain not to be prejudiced. But what if pain was a good thing, I mean a great thing? What if I could actually rejoice in the pain and make it a positive experience?
I heard Doctor Oz once say, "You should be glad when your sick and your body is vomiting and having diarrhea." That is because your body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do - get rid of the illness. It may sound extreme, but I have yet to leave the bathroom after a bout with the stomach bug and scream in excitement, "Yeah, go body." How cool is it though that our bodies have the ability to heal themselves. That way of thinking gives me a fresh new perspective on pain.

My most recent experience with pain was life-altering. After a not so graceful fall at the skating rink, the pain was so bad it was hard to focus on anything but pain. I was striped to the bare basics. The thought of having to care for myself, much less 4 other people, completely overwhelmed me. I am not someone easily overwhelmed - remember I'm competitive. That spirit in me is the one thing that automatically takes control and it definitely contributed to my rapid recovery. During the healing process, I learned a little more about who I really am. I have always sought where God wanted me, but inevitably too many times ended up on a different path. I call it lack of patience. I'm the person standing around looking at the sky then looking at my watch saying, "You're late again Lord." I always wait for the answers and forget that he has already planned it out. I thought I should be getting better quicker. I was not forgotten, in fact, God was many steps in front of me, but I couldn't slow down long enough to really listen to Him. I repeat that same word "listen" to my kids on a daily basis.

I have been served in ways that I have never aloud people to serve me before, because of this pain. I have been able to focus on me and my healing process, when I, otherwise, might have felt guilt. I have impressed my orthopedist and thoroughly enjoyed being challenged by my physical therapist. Even my chiropractor's office has been an essential part of my healing process. The encouragement alone has made me strive for total wellness. I could not have been blessed with a better more unique team of doctors that have all been so willing to speak my love language. I'm so thankful for each of them.

As I began to heal and the pain slowly drifted into the background, I realized that I had spent way too much time hurting and forgot to rejoice over the great new people in my life that were actually caring for me. That includes my great friends who really helped me with my kids and encouraged me when I was feeling hopeless. I have met some wonderful people and none of that would have happened if it weren't for the pain. The lessons I have learned about pain and God's timing have been absolutely priceless to me.

So is Pain a great thing? Oh yeah, in every case of major pain in my life, physical or emotional, I have grown closer to becoming who God has called me to be. Pain is just a symptom to tell you somethings wrong. What a wonderful way for us to recognize a need and do something about it. I know it's a little too late for New Year's resolutions, but we can all vow to serve and love each other. Let's make a commitment to rejoicing in our pain, while striving to get well.

I'm so thankful for everyone who has been there for me through this pain. Being hurt has been a real challenge, but I embrace the lessons learned. Thanks for loving me when I couldn't offer much in return. You know who you are and you rock.

About the Author.

I think it's a good idea if I start out by telling you who I am.
But just who am I? I have battled with this question for years, and I admit I’m still finding the answer. But so far, I have discovered that I am a Christian, home school mom of 4, and probably the most competitive person I've ever met. Some call me insecure, a worrier who cares a little too much about how I am perceived. However, I feel I have a big heart and care greatly about encouraging others to be their best. I love talking to strangers and I cry over missed opportunities. I expect great things from myself and I will work hard to achieve them. I love funny people and people who are doers. I am dedicated to doing what it takes to be obedient to God. I have failed so many times in the past yet I'm still determined to fully serve Him. This life is not about me and never will be. I'm a piece of the giant puzzle, still growing and learning new things daily and I know God has an awesome purpose for my life. My goal is to encourage one person through my blog and if i can accomplish that, my goal will be achieved.